Awards and Other Such Madness
by AssociationOfPointlessParodies
Summary: You are hereby formally invited to a Hogwarts award ceremony, honoring who else but Harry James Potter. And when we say "honoring", we use that term very loosly. PARODY GALORE!


**DISCLAIMER: **

**Skye&Sophie: We don't own -**

**Harry: Thank MERLIN they don't own me!**

**Ginny: Or me! I mean, virginity for life -**

**Harry: YES!  
><strong>  
><strong>Ron: Harry, you have ten minutes to live...<strong>

**A/N: Hey guys! Skye here. Sophie and I are twins, with a severe obsession with Harry Potter, writing, and fanfiction. We are also utterly insane, and the best of friends. We have other accounts on , but we're not going to tell you what they are, as we wish to be taken seriously in them. As for this joint account...well...lets just say we have no such premonitions. No offense is meant to ANYONE in any of our parodies. It is all meant in good fun, and if you can't take a joke...well...you shouldn't read parodies! (Oh, and none of this is SUPPOSED to make sense. It is the product of extreme boredom.)**

**And HI! This is the infamous Sophie, here to say that what my sis said is "utter... insan[ity]." She is obsessed in the way that she likes to know the facts, as to dangle them above others heads until said others perish. I am obsessed in the way that I like to poke endless fun at things, and then force others into it when they're too tired to resist. Together, WE'RE TEAM AVATAR! Saka reference! Also, I'd like to let you know that I have SEVERAL accounts on this website, so there. BTW, THIS ENTIRE THING IS (in my view) to make extreme fun of HP, thereby offending anyone who takes part in that whole shebang. Sorry, just the way I role. And if you can't take a joke, DIE IN A WHOLE! But don't, because that was a joke, too. And... sorry, the last part was true, so this entire paragraph was a waste of time. ;)**

**Skye again. ('Cause I always MUST have the last word.) Seriously, Soph? You just had to, eh? *grumbles under her breath* Just my luck to get such a talkative, annoying sister. LOL**

**ENJOY! Reviews are welcome! **

**~Sophie and Skye**

* * *

><p><strong>Dumbledore: <strong>I would like to announce that Harry Potter has won every freakin' award Hogwarts School has to offer. Even the one for dumb bravery!

**Ginny: *rolls eyes* **_Especially _the one for dumb bravery.

**Ghosts of All Evil People: *floating around Harry's head* **We _haaaaaaunt _you!

**Harry: **Guys, I'm receiving my awards here. Can't you just be like a silent coconut?

**Ron: *to the ghosts***Here, have some potatoes!

**Hermione: **What is it with food in this place?

**Kingsley: **Well, if there ain't food, there's always the Irish jig!

**Fudge: *bursts into an Irish jig rather akin to the one Daniel Radcliffe oh-so-crazily performed on SNL***

**Fred and George: *singing to Fudge's jig* **Viktor, I love you, Viktor, I do, and when we're apart my heart beats only for yoooou!

**Snape: *stumbles in reading Twilight with his hair in curlers* **"And then the lion fell in love with the lamb..." ***SOB!* **"What a stupid lamb..." "What a sick, masochistic lion..." Oh, the drama! Oh, the romance!

**Bellatrix: **Oh, what a romantic love story! Just like ours, Voldypoo! We bond over murder...

**Voldemort: **Let me remind you, Bella: I shall not be compaired to a bear, a Japanese syllable, or PUDDING.

**Harry: **Honestly, can't you guys just go to -

**Luna: *runs in, screaming akin to Aerosmith* **_Spooky, spooky Mormon hell! Spooky, spooky Mormon hell!_

**Harry: **...Well, that works too.

**Snape: *Wearing hot-pink headphonese* **_Chica-chica bow-wow! Chica-chica bow-wow!_

**Ginny: *Jumps across the table wearing a Wonder Woman costume* **I pledge virginity for life!

**Harry: *looks horrified* **What the spooky Mormon hell?

**Dumbledore:**Now, will you please look at this Harmonica-shaped trophy. This is for Best Musician.

**Flitwick:** ***whispers* **What does he play?

**Dumbledore: *whispers back* **Air freakin' guitar!

**Harry: *jumps up on table playing air guitar***

**Snape: *jumps onto Gryffindor table in a red-and-gold silk bathrobe that looks suspiciously like said House's banner* **_Chica-chica bow-wow, chica-chica bow-wow! _***Does sensual dance***

**Hermione: **Ooh, do me Professor!

**Ron: *jumps onto table in jealousy and has slap fight with Snape that looks like it belongs in a Primary School playground***

**Hermione: *giggles and swoons***

**Dumbledore: **And this one goes to Best Connolly Maker!

**Harry: **Sir, I don't think I've ever made a Connolly in my life.

**Dumbledore: **Who freakin' cares?

**A Sickly-Sweet Voice: **I believe that award belongs to me!

**Harry: **Oh, no! Its Umbitch, the Fluffy Pink Toad from -

**Luna: **_Spooky, spooky Mormon hell! Spooky, spooky Mormon hell!_

**Trevor: *eyes turn into little hearts* **MY LOVE!

**Neville: **What? You have a Mistress? You said you loved me - FOREVER! ***bursts into tears***

**Britney Spears: *dances in, singing Toxic, sits on Neville's lap* **Don't worry about that, boy.

**Harry: **OI! When did this turn into a multimedia parody?

**Sophie&Skye: **You are at our mercy! You will do anything we want you to!

**Skye: **Or anyone!

**Sophie: **SKYE! You and your dirty mind. Hey, remember that stick we were talkinga bout? I think its somewhere else now!

GILMORE GIRLS REFERENCE!

**Ron: **Ooh, the gods speak!

**Ginny: **Ahem, goddesses.

**Mad Eye: *shoots out from a potted plant* **_Mountains of adventure - Smuggler's Notch! _Hydroponics!

**Karkaroff: **Now we know your little secret, Mad-Eye...***pauses dramatically* **You enjoy SKIING!

**Entire Audience: *raises one eyebrow***

**Sirius: *sarcastically* **Scandalous.

**Lupin: **Yeah, just as bad as your obsession with brownies!

**Sirius: *shouting* **HEY! I thought that was our secret! ***lunges at him***

**Crowd: **FIGHT! FIGHT!

**Dumbledore: **Fight! Freakin'! Fight!

**And in the heat of the moment, Voldemort and Bellatrix were about to escape on a ghostly cruise ship across the Lake of Sunset Jello, when a large pink fluff ball bearing suspicious resemblance to Arnold the Pygmy Puff, began to devour them - Slowly. And. Painfully...**

_**THE END!**_


End file.
